How to Deal with my Insane Partners
by AruaPearl44
Summary: This is Arceus guide to Ash and Giratina. RXR.


Arceus Guide: How to deal with my insane Partners

_Your probably wounding why I say Partners. Well, I like Giratina but she is a little nutty like her father._

_**Who are Ash and Giratina?**_

Ash: Ash is my brother and my dark twin. He is everything I'm not. He's angry, load, somewhat annoying, bloodlust, insane, and evil. But sometimes he's nice, sweet and dence. This Ash is also annoying, angry, and load. (Do NOT let Ash get this. Or he might try to kill me. Again.)

Giratina: Giratina is my partner after I imprisoned Ash the first time. (That means Ash has been imprison more than once and he's still the same as ever.) Giratina is sweet but dang scary when pissed. She's almost as bad as Ash when pissed. She also likes to become human and mess around in their world.

_**Giratina's friends**_

Articuno.

Cress. (How she isn't afraid of her is beyond me.)

Ash.

Me.

And Regirock.

_**Ash's friends and allies.**_

Cress.

Regirock.

Kyogre. Friend. (Why she's Ash's friend is far beyond me.)

Giratina. Daughter.

And Uxie. (Uxie is very annoying but only around girls. Ash must have dealt with someone like that when he was human. That's the only reason I can think of for Ash not to be annoyed by Uxie.)

_**Ash's enemies**_

Darkrai. (He reminds Ash of a guy he really hates.)

Me. (I'm the Alpha, he's the Beta. He wants to become the Alpha.)

Regigigas. (He is the only person besides me that can stop Ash.)

Heatran. (I'm not sure why he hate the guy.)

And Wal-mart. (Yes Wal-mart. See places to hid from Ash.)

_**What to do in Case of Confronted by Giratina.**_

Say _I'm sorry._ And if that doesn't work, run.

_**What to do in Case of Confronted by Ash when he's nice.**_

Ask nicely to be forgiven. Nice Ash will allow it. Unless it's really bad.

_**What to do in Case of Confronted by Ash when he's the Ash we hate.**_

Run. Run like there is no tomorrow. Because if he catches you, there is no tomorrow.

_**What not to say to them both**_

'Your insane!'

'Someone forgot to take their happy pills.'

'Did you take your medication today?'

'Is it that time of the month, again?' (The last person who asked that got hit with a Hyper Beam in the you-know-where. Regirock had to reconstruct himself for a week.)

_**What not to say to Giratina**_

'You psychotic bitch!'

'Ash is so lam.'

'Hi' (This is only if you are Mew or Uxie.)

Anything bad about Ash.

_**What not to say to Ash.**_

'Ashy-boy.' (The last time someone said this got a Judgment on their you-know-where. I couldn't move for a month.)

'Baby.'

'You're cute.' -Uxie. (Since he only go like that around girls, Ash thought Uxie thought he was a girl and hurt him badly.)

'You're really not thinking this all the way through.'

'What would Regigigas do if he found out?' (Ash's answer: Regigigas can go screw himself!)

_**What to Say to Ash.**_

'Lets go plot to kill Regigigas and Arceus' Is the only thing I can really think of. But I don't want to die.

_**What to give to Ash.**_

Food.

_**What to Say to Giratina.**_

'Ash is awesome!'

_**Best places to hid from Ash. **_(You don't have to hid from Giratina.)

My closest: Nice, warm, cozy, and big enough to hide Darkrai, Mew, Regice, and Regirock all at one time.

Mew's Room: Last resort only. Otherwise you might get arrested for assault and attempted murder. (Mostly everyone would want to muder her.)

Cresselia's Room: No Legendary in their right mind would look in here!

Mewtwo's Room: No Legendary in their right mind would look in here...

Wal-mart (Ever since a Wal-mart opened up in the Hall of Origin, he and Registeel have been convinced that they're trying to take over the world.)

Anywhere outside a 20-mile radius.

_**Failed Schemes and Plots of Ash**_

Scheme: Sends me a Rosselia doll that was actually a secret assigned.

Result: It blow up in front of my face before it could kill me.

Endnote: Never revise dolls from Ash. They usually don't work or they want to kill you.

Scheme: Hypnotizing the Legendaries to turn on me.

Result: He practices on a mirror and ends up hypothesizing himself. He was acting like a Pikachu for a week.

Endnote: Mirrors reflect hypnoses.

Scheme: Blow up Wal-mart with Registeel.

Result: I had to bale the Reggis and Ash out of jail and they worked in Wal-mart until I got my money back.

Endnote: I got 300 bucks back.

Scheme: Gave Mew candy so he would go hyper and drown the place.

Result: She flooded the hall with chocolate pudding, I had to make them eat it all.

Endnote: Most of them now hate chocolate pudding.

Scheme: Getting rid of all humans.

Result: He killed a lot of people before I was able to stop him.

Endnote: I wish I had save more lives.

Scheme: Killing my right hand man/Pokemon Lucario.

Result: I had to seal away Ash into a haft-demon's body. And Lucario's soul was lost forever.

Endnote: I miss Lucario.

Scheme: Ash was dating Articuno to make me jealous.

Result: I wasn't phased by it and he was dumped on their third month of dating. She said something about things were happening too fast. Ash was sulking for months.

Endnote: Don't get dates for Ash. They usually don't work and afterward he gets annoying.

Scheme: Whipping Mew to death.

Result: I had to save her sorry, pink ass. The Legendary of Children still won't leave me alone.

Endnote: I said go away, dammit!

Ash made Satoshi. Even though it wasn't a scheme it did really bad things.

Result: Satoshi almost kills Ho-oh and burns down Ho-oh's tower. He is now inside a stone Pokeball.

Endnote: Satoshi really hates Ho-oh. And Ho-oh really hates Ash and Giratina now.

Scheme: Leaving for 20 years to get stronger. Then returning to kill me.

Result: He got trapped again inside his great-grand son.

Endnote: Now Ash has two personalities.

That's some of his schemes, but for now I'm only listing the ones from the last 22 years before I impression Ash for the second time.

_**Ways to Handle Giratina**_

She's very stable at times just don't make her angry.

_**Ways to Handle Ash**_

Uh...I can't really think of any ways to handle him. Running and hiding are ways of avoiding him. But I don't know how to handle him. Threatening him with me or Regigigas will make him kill you.

_**Endnote:**_

All in all, if you use this guidebook correctly, then you should be able to survive a day or two with them. All depends on how you use it.

_Ash pokes into Arceus room. "I have something for you." Ash said. "What ever it I don't want it." Arceus said then he teleported away. "All I wanted was to give him this doll it was in my room for some weird reason." Ash said. He was holding a Caturne doll. Then the doll blow up. Ash then cough up smoke. _

**Okay! I'm done! Man I love writing this. This is my second one.**

**AuraPearl44_May the Aura be with you_Peace.**


End file.
